Since I am still pissed about my trigger point blog being destroyed, I’m trying to build up the motivation to write it over again.

If you will notice, or maybe you haven’t, my running has been lacking.  It’s not because I’m injured and it’s not because I don’t love running, I’ll tell you that much.  I am just constantly exhausted.  Don’t get me wrong,  I understand completely that everyone has busy lives, working weird hours and children to raise, and yet they still find time to workout.

I have worked night shift for 3 years.  I work 12 hour shifts from 7pm to 7am. Some nights are high stress, and some nights are pretty easy.  Regardless, I am always tired.  I don’t know what it’s like to feel normal anymore.  My mind always feels foggy, I cannot lose weight no matter how healthy I eat, and my Crohn’s Disease has started to really not like this night shift thing.  When my GI tract isn’t digesting how it’s supposed and getting the vitamins and nutrients it needs, it adds to the exhaustion.  Contrary to popular belief, diarrhea isn’t a great time.

When I was on vacation and I was sleeping and eating normally for about 2 weeks, my body liked it.  My GI system liked it.  I could think clearly, my muscles didn’t ache as much and I actually had…. energy.  Energy?  Such a novel idea for my body.

The first 2 years that I worked night shift, I honestly didn’t feel it.  I felt pretty good and I didn’t understand why some people had such a difficult time with it.  I could flip back to a somewhat normal schedule on my days off and be okay.  Yes, I was still tired, but not a significant amount.

I don’t know what changed after the 2nd year, but this past year has been a nightmare.  I can’t fathom doing this for another year honestly, and I have no idea how some nurses have done this for 20+ years.  Kudos to you for not falling apart, because I am on the verge of it.  This is why I have decided to make some changes soon.  I can’t continue to live and feel like this.  I want to feel…good.  I want to workout normally.  I want to run without feeling like I have to push through dead legs EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I want my life to stop being like this:

and be more like this: